So it turns out that people are “reviewing” church services. Such is the modern, consumer-centric world that we feel it appropriate to rate our worship services on Google’s 1 to 5 scale. Don’t worry, though, comedian John Crist is on hand to offer a light-hearted look at this absurd phenomenon.
“I feel like I do a considerable amount of roasting of church and Christian culture. but honestly, sometimes church needs to be defended,” Crist said in a newly released video. “These reviews… I’m already mad.”
So, let’s get to it. Here are a few of the funniest reviews:
- “Just got bored quick. Worship was not great and the message was too monotone and screamy for me.”
“You know what the opposite of monotone is? Screamy,” quips Crist. “It’s like saying ‘turn the music down I cant hear well!'”
2. “Four stars instead of five because there was no worship after the sermon.”
“You know in China it’s illegal to go to Church and you’ve go to walk miles in secret?” the comedian continued. “Tell us more though, tell us more.”
3. “The worship leader looked like he just got done mowing the yard.”
“I’ve seen a lot of worship leaders in my day — I can’t say the man’s wrong!” Crist laughed.
“Who’s not going to church based on its Google review?!” Crist lamented in the hilarious video.
5. “Not very welcoming, no one said hello or goodbye.”
“What do you want to play, chubby bunny? You need an ice-breaker? We’re not in middle school — go shake someone’s hand, introduce yourself, it’s fine!” Crist joked.
Then, the cream of the crop.
“This guy gets the point — he understands the real meaning of church, you know?” Crist said of his final example:
6. “One star. Panini’s were terrible.”
Wow. Just wow.
Keep up to date with Crist’s hilarious work by following him on Facebook.