On Monday evening, Ascension Press posted a video to its Facebook page featuring Catholic married couple Paul and Maggie Kim. In the video, the two discuss the Christian meaning of marriage, and how that compares to common modern beliefs on the subject.
Sitting in their home, with their baby daughter close by, the Kims explain why marriage is more work, but also more fun than many people make it out to be.
“I think in our day and age, when people think about marriage, they think, you know what’s the big deal? Let’s just kind of ‘ship up and shack up — you know, we don’t really need to emulate what we see in our families,” Paul begins. “And a lot of people come from broken marriages, broken families. And so, they’re just kind of jaded.”
“For us, we just really wanted the tax write-off,” he jokes.
Paul notes that, as Catholics, he and his wife wanted something more than a legal contract — they wanted to enter into a covenantal union with each other and with God. They wanted to learn how to “love as God loves.”
“Cause the truth is, marriage isn’t easy — love is demanding, and love requires sacrifice,” he says.
Maggie explains that many people have an unrealistic view that marriage is either the key to personal happiness or the end of all freedom and fun.
Pushing back on the idealized view of marriage, Paul notes that getting married doesn’t solve all of one’s problems, but rather, it forces individuals to confront their problems head-on.
“To all of our friends out there who are single and wanting to be married, and wanting to have kids, my recommendation is don’t waste your singlehood,” Paul says. “Singlehood is an amazing time to continue on working to become the best version of yourself.”
“And I always tell my single friends that you can also use this time to pray for your future spouse,” Maggie adds. “Because, maybe at this time that person isn’t ready to meet you yet. Maybe you’re not ready to meet that person. I think it’s a great time to work on yourself and to give the other person a chance to work on themselves … .”
To others who view marriage, and especially parenthood, as a miserable thing to be avoided, Paul offers some insight.
“Children are such a joy,” he says. “I think a lot of people, when they think of parenthood, they only think of it in the negative, like, ‘My life is over! I can’t go out and drink with my friends!’”
For these individuals, he notes that while like marriage, parenthood requires sacrifice, it offers the kind of joy that comes from serving other people’s needs above our own.
“It’s not easy,” he confesses, “But love isn’t supposed to be easy — it’s supposed to help us grow, and grow closer to the heart of God.”
The Kims add that the purpose of marriage is “to help us grow in holiness” and that true love means “willing the good of the other.”
Watch the full clip below, and check more videos from Paul Kim by clicking here.