Pastor John Piper recently revealed his five points of advice for young Christians preparing to get married, saying one’s “own personal fellowship of faith and joy and hope and obedience towards Jesus is foundational for the survival and the flourishing” of his or her marriage.
Piper’s marriage-themed podcast was sparked by a question from a 21-year-old man named Evan, who wrote to Piper to ask what he should do to prepare before he gets hitched in a few months.
The pastor responded by offering up a series of important steps, with his first point of advice being that Evan should talk about as many issues as possible with his fiancee before they wed. Piper said “it is far more frustrating and threatening to think of something after you are married that you should have talked about before.”
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Secondly, Piper encouraged Evan to be entirely candid in these conversations, even if it leads to conflict, as he said it is essential to build a relationship on trust and truth.
“If you think that you can dodge conflicts now so that there will be a more opportune time later, you are mistaken,” Piper said. “This is what engagement or courtship is designed for: maximum exposure to what each of you thinks, believes, feels, does habitually or occasionally — no secrets, nothing held back.”
The third point of advice Piper gave was for Evan to make sure he and his fiancee are on the same page, spiritually speaking. He encouraged them to read the Bible and have many theological discussions before the wedding in an effort to go “deep into every dimension of the spiritual life.”
As for his fourth point of advice, Piper said one’s own personal faith and obedience to Jesus is a foundation that will lead to the survival of a marriage, warning that he’s seen marriages unravel as a couple’s “spiritual reality” falls apart.
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“When two people operate out of that individual profundity, the marriage will endure — and not only endure, but flourish with joy and fruitfulness,” Piper said.
And the preacher’s last point of advice was for Evan not to take his wife for granted by assuming she knows the depths of his love for her, encouraging him to express it daily, through both word and action. He added, “Lavish your wife with expressions of delight and appreciation and admiration and affection and enjoyment.
Listen to the podcast in its entirety here.
(H/T: Christian Post)
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