Years ago, I heard an older man say something to a younger man over beers that, now, hurts my soul. He said, “Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of her.”
At the core, this man was telling his friend something that broken men have believed for years: One woman will never be enough.
Sadly, this idea isn’t confined to bars over beers. It’s an idea that’s convincing men everywhere to crave variety over commitment. That new will always outperform old. That marriage is somehow unnatural to how God made men to be.
But what if I told you that your marriage could offer you a variety of women? What if I told you that you could actually remarry over and over again without getting a divorce? What I told you that you could have a new woman with a different personality every few years and your wife would actually enjoy it?
It might sound crazy, but that’s exactly what happened to me.
In 2009, I met a 19-year-old rock climber. I could start fires with what I felt for her. She was an introverted working girl with high cheekbones and weighed less than 100 pounds. She loved the city, dancing, and talking late into the night. She enjoyed dogs more than people and because of an extreme fear of flying, she had never been on an airplane. Her heart was for kids but she didn’t want any of her own—adoption was her preferred method to becoming a parent. But most of all, she recently fell in love with Jesus and was trying to learn what God’s will was for her life. For me, that sealed the deal. Within eleven months we were married.
However, I’m not married to that woman any longer. I’ve since remarried—several times.
In 2013, I married an outgoing 23-year-old homemaker who was pregnant with her first baby. I remember that summer, we all took a flight together from Oregon to California to show her parents their new granddaughter.
In 2015, I remarried again. This time a 26-year-old farmer who just moved from the city seeking a quieter life. She had a toddler and was pregnant with her second baby. We started our mornings early which left us exhausted in the evening—by ten o’clock she would often fall asleep while we talked to each other in bed.
Today, I just remarried again. She’s a mother of three, she’s a traveler, and she’s a mature Christian woman. She’s still about 100 pounds. Her cheekbones look about the same. And she still loves to rock climb (as long as she’s not pregnant).
I’ve learned an important lesson since that conversation I had over beers 15 years ago. Even though my friend was older than me, I realized he was wrong. The idea a man will inevitably get tired of one woman is a lie. The idea that marriage will leave a man with only one woman is a lie. Marriage has left me with multiple women. Women who I’ve each fallen deeper in love with. Women that I keep saying yes to. Women that keep me on my toes, offer me the variety God wants me to have, and allow me to enjoy the ever changing journey of marriage.
Meet all the women I’ve married. She’s right here. Wrapped up in one person. Veronica Partridge. She’s 28-years-old. She’s changing all the time. And I can’t wait to find out who I get to marry next.
Dale Partridge is a Wall Street Journal Bestselling author, social media influencer on faith and culture and the founder of UnlearnChurch.com. He lives with his wife and three children on their farm in Oregon.