“Mom, did you know people send naked pictures of themselves to each other through texting?”
This was the first thing I heard the other day as my sixth grade daughter, Grace, ran in the house after school. To be honest, I nearly choked on a tortilla chip. I most certainly was not expecting that to be the first thing out of her mouth that afternoon.
My focus immediately shifted from my work responsibilities to my daughter. Inviting her over to our living room couch, I asked for context of the aforementioned question.
“The internet safety assembly we attended today at school told us about how to protect yourself from ‘sexting’ and how to protect yourself from pornography on the internet. Mom, do you know what pornography is?,” she asked.
I barely had a second to get a word in edgewise. Her mind was clearly blown by the lewd content so readily available on the Internet.
Grace had come home a few days earlier with a permission slip from the school for this specific assembly. My husband and I are gangsters when it comes to protecting what goes into our kids’ minds. We have rules – lots of them. We are not our kids’ friends; we are their parents.
Now, we are very friendly with our kids (as you can see on any of my social media pages), but we are there to protect them and prepare them for the day they go off on their own. Our rules are there to protect them, and without question, we do not waver on these guidelines. Call me old fashioned – that would actually be a great compliment – but none of our kids have been exposed to pornography yet, by the matchless grace of God.
My husband and I talked at length about this specific assembly. Do we let her go? Do we not? Do we let the school possibly educate her in this area? At the end of our conversation, it was clear to us both that while we are the primary teachers of our children, we are not the only teachers in their lives. My daughter is at an age where she is beginning to make her own decisions about right and wrong and prayerfully follow the biblical guidelines that we have instilled in her since birth. So we agreed to let her attend, knowing some of the content would be revelatory to her.
When she was finished with her discourse on the matter of nakedness on the Internet, I asked her, “What do you think about the fact that this exists?”
“First of all who would do that, and why do they think they have to? Don’t people know they don’t have to?,” she said.
After her questions, I was able to tell her why we have one computer that is located publicly in our kitchen for her and her brother to use. It cannot be moved. It must be in a public place so there is accountability for them when doing homework on the Internet. I then told her the reason why all of our devices are locked with a password that only I know. My husband doesn’t even want to know the password to keep him accountable from any pornography!
I then shared with her the reason why we are an open-door house with their friends. All are welcome at our home, but we are extremely selective on where our kids spend the night, because of the possibility of them being exposed to something from which we want to protect them. Also, I made her aware of why she and her brother cannot play certain games, because of the incessant sex, horrible violence etc., that seem to be so wildly accepted in the form of a video game. Lastly, we discussed the big one for a teenage girl – why she cannot have social media yet.
We spoke at length at what the Bible says about thinking on things that are good and right and noble and of good report (Philippians 4:8). The Word of God also says, “Above all else, guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). How can my daughter and son, or any child, guard their heart or think on good things if they are continuously exposed to porn or sexual things online?
When I was done she looked at me and said, “Mom, thank you for the rules and thank you for not letting me have Instagram yet. Some of the rules I didn’t understand, but I am so glad that you have protected me from all of this.”
I’m not going to lie, I felt like mom of the year for a brief second! My daughter actually is getting it!
I challenge you today to not fall into the parent pressure to let your kids have social media just because their friends do. I challenge you to operate as a parent that is protecting their child as long as possible from the evil this world wants to force them to swallow. I am so completely done with being pressured to conform, my children are worth me saying no to the social pressure. I challenge you to stand for right even when it seems no one else is, because even if the world judges my parenting, someday your kids, like Grace that day, will be thankful for it.
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Autumn Miles is the author of “Appointed: Your Future Starts Now” and the founder and CEO of The Blush Network, a conference ministry dedicated to spiritually challenging the way women think. Autumn is an accomplished speaker who leads women’s conferences nationwide through The Blush Network. She is also the host of “The Autumn Miles Show,” a Christian radio show on Salem Radio Network in Dallas, Texas and sits on the advisory council for the women’s ministry department at Liberty University.