The propensity toward self-centeredness is natural and it’s strong. Learning to undo that part of our human nature takes time and a lot of effort.
Author and marketing guru Sam McRoberts garnered a lot of attention on Twitter Monday afternoon, when, in response to a tweet from writer Julia Galef, who was curious about parental “satisfaction,” he described having one child as “probably my biggest life regret.”
Study I would run if I had time:
1. Recruit 10,000 ppl unsure if they want kids
2. Ask them questions (Do you enjoy kids? Do you enjoy your life? Main pros/cons?)
3. Follow up 20 yrs later & ask: Did you have kids or not? Glad?
4. Look for predictors of satisfaction w/each choice— Julia Galef (@juliagalef) March 11, 2019
“My wife and I originally wanted 3 kids,” he wrote. “Had 1, decided after a few years that 1 was plenty. Though I love my son, I now: A. Know myself well enough, and B. know the challenges of parenting well enough to say that having a kid is probably my biggest life regret.”
McRoberts noted his wife agrees with him:
Not long after McRoberts posted his since-deleted tweet, Blaze Media engagement director Jason Howerton started the campaign #NotAMistake.
After posting a picture of his own young son, Howerton encouraged parents to tweet “photos of the kids you also don’t regret having.”
It would be terrible if you all replied with photos of the kids you also don’t regret having. pic.twitter.com/evKQt9JVu3
— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) March 12, 2019
Here’s a sampling of the responses he received:
— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) March 12, 2019
Congratulations on your sobriety and your beautiful family.
— DeAnne Hernandez (@Deannemh) March 12, 2019
Beautiful.
— DeAnne Hernandez (@Deannemh) March 12, 2019
— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) March 12, 2019
This child constantly disrupts my workflow and requires constant food/attention. I will take 10, please. #NotAMistake pic.twitter.com/suyTGaBYZx
— Carly Hoilman (@carlyhoilman) March 12, 2019
Look, I’m not a parent. The closest I come to parenting these days is having a one-year-old dog. But I know several parents, and none of them would say they regret having their children.
Being a father or a mother isn’t an easy task — it’s hard work that requires daily (even hourly) sacrifice. But the love parents have for their children should far surpass the burden of setting aside their own interests.
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From birth, we are sinful and self-centered. But as we grow older, the hope is that we each encounter love that chips away at our propensity toward self-service and that it’s replaced with self-sacrifice. For Christians, that shift should come as a result of realizing our own depravity and embracing what Jesus did for us on the cross.
I’m certain McRoberts and his wife love their son. I just hope one day their perspective on what that love costs changes a little bit.