Trent Shelton, former NFL player and author, wants women all around the world to hear his message that “you weren’t created to be used.”
In an Instagram TV video, the thirty-four-year-old expressed” “you weren’t created to be used, you were created to be valued.”
“You weren’t created to be used, you were created to be respected,” he added.
In his video, Shelton listed 5 things he wanted every female to apply to their lives so they could walk away from a position of being used.
1. Believe patterns not apologies
“People can say the right things, people can sometimes do the right things every now and then, but who a person is consistent, that’s who that person is,” Shelton shared.
He warned viewers of the type of people that apologize time after time, but don’t actually change their behavior.
“Patterns don’t lie,” he emphasized. “Do they just talk change or do they actually make a change? Do they talk respect, or do they actually respect you?”
He pointed out that it’s important for someone to say “I’m sorry” or “I apologize,” but when it becomes a continuous thing, it’s time to question whether or not they really mean those things.
He added that changed behavior is the real indication of change taking place in a person.
2. Don’t fall in love with potential
“Who someone could be, who you want them to be, who they should be, does not mean they will ever become that person,” Shelton emphasized.
“It doesn’t matter how much change you want for a person, it doesn’t matter how much goodness you see in a person if that person doesn’t want to become the person that you hope they become, it doesn’t matter.”
He added that you cannot change a person. You can hope for them to change, or even pray for them to change, but if they don’t want to, it won’t happen.
All too often the vision of a person is blurred by who they want someone to become instead of seeing who they actually are, he explained.
“Don’t fall in love with potential,” he warned.
3. Believe red flags
Shelton explained that often times red flags pop up all the time in relationships, but people choose to ignore them.
“Believe red flags,” he said. “That means something isn’t right.”
He compared unhealthy relationships to a dead end sign at the front of a street. If you saw the sign, you wouldn’t drive down that street. In the same way, if you see red flags in a relationship, then you should head them just like a dead end sign.
“It’s telling you that danger is ahead, it’s telling you that something isn’t real. The more you ignore those red flags, the more of a position you put yourself in to get your heart destroyed.”
4. Know your worth
He explained that knowing ones worth in all aspects of life is important. Whether that’s ones job, ones relationships, or friendships, it’s important to know your worth.
“Stop letting everything outside you control what is inside of you. Those external things didn’t give you worth, so stop letting those external things take it away.”
“You were given worth at birth. So when you truly realize how incredible you are, when you realize how much greatness you have inside of you. When you stop doing this, I can promise you that you will stop selling for less, and stop accepting less.
5. Don’t lower your standards
People that truly see you will rise to your level, Shelton pointed out. He pointed out that the best kind of person to have around is one that raises their standards to meet you at yours, instead of lowering you to their level.
“They’ll raise their standards to meet you at yours. You are not created to settle. You are created to be successful. You are not created to do less, you were created to do your best.”
“Don’t let anything in life think that you can accept a lesser version of yourself to be incredible, because that makes absolutely no sense.”
“It all starts with you,” he encouraged, “it’s rehab time.”