After struggling with addiction and abuse, author Arman Kaymakcian is now living a redeemed life.
Kaymakcian, author of “He Calls Me Redeemed: A Memoir of Childhood Sex Abuse, Heroin Addiction, Hope, and Redemption,” told CBN News he chose to come forward with his difficult story in an effort to help others see the power of grace and forgiveness.
“I know what it is to be desperate,” he said. “I know what it is to feel trapped, to feel hopeless, lost, broken. I also know what it feels to be redeemed by Jesus Christ, and I know what it is to feel freedom on the other side of pain.”
Ultimately, Kaymakcian said he wanted to help others navigate their struggles by sharing the very real, personal pain — and victory — he has experienced.
“I wanted to be able to write a story that would give hope to the hopeless,” he said.
Kaymakcian faced sexual abuse at a young age, which ultimately sent him into drug use; the issue became progressively worse when he entered high school and his 20s.
“It went from marijuana to narcotics,” he said. “Then, when I got into drug dealing, that led to a whole [other] level of that lifestyle, and [I] ultimately found myself addicted to heroin just in the midst of all those progressions.”
Amid Kaymakcian’s addiction, he said his mindset was an “absolute disaster,” with his behavior and antics sparking chaos in his life.
“I’ve robbed everybody,” he said. “I … had problems with law enforcement, problems in the street. … Just miserable. You would’ve crossed the street if you saw me walking. … Just desperation, hopelessness, absolute misery in every capacity you could think of, and it was just a horrific, horrific time in my life.”
By the time Kaymakcian turned 27, he was truly hitting rock bottom.
“I’m suicidal because I’m so miserable from the addiction, and every morning I wake up, as soon as I opened my eyes, it was just absolute misery from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep,” he said. “Dope sickness is just a horrific thing to go through.”
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One day, Kaymakcian said he had shot his last few bags of heroin and was preparing to end his life. Living in Long Branch, New Jersey, at the time, he felt immeasurably hopeless.
“I decide, ‘That’s it. I’m just gonna jump in front of the train. I can’t do this anymore,'” he recalled. “So I head to the train station.”
On his way to the station, though, he passed a hospital and something inside of him implored him to stop and go inside — and he did. It was a decision that changed absolutely everything.
“I went in, I told ’em what was going on,” Kaymakcian said. “They put me in the psychiatric ward there. I was there for two, three nights.”
On one of those nights, his mother reached out and asked if he needed anything, and he felt compelled to tell her there was a Bible on his nightstand that he wanted. His mom granted his request and brought it.
“I opened the Bible to a random page,” he said. “It was Psalm 88. I read that Psalm and it was like, if I could have written God a letter in that moment, it was everything that I felt, everything that I thought, I just broke in half face to the floor, tears on the ground.”
Kaymakcian continued, “I just begged Jesus to save me.”
He sought professional help in rehab to get his life back on track and he said the rest is history. The God he once felt was distant suddenly became a close confidant.
“I never had a problem that God existed. That was never an issue, but He just felt so distant,” Kaymakcian said. “It would be like having a father in another state that you never met before — He exists, you’ve heard stories about Him, but you don’t know Him personally.”
He continued, “And, then, all of a sudden for Him to show up one day and say, ‘Hey, I’m gonna spend time with you over the next few months, years, and we’re just gonna get to know each other.’ That’s a completely different situation, and that’s what God did with me.”
Kaymakcian found himself totally starting over as he healed from his past. With no high school diploma, no prospects, no job, and no home, he recalled writing a list of what he hoped to accomplish. In addition to a job, wife, and children, he wrote down, “Write a book about how Jesus Christ saved my life.”
At the time, it felt ridiculous, but years later he’s now promoting and talking about that very book — a text that tells the details of how God redeemed his once-chaotic life.
“My life has been an absolute blessing for the last 15 years,” he said, noting he now has a wife and three children. “We’ve done so many incredible things. We’ve traveled, spent time together as a family. It’s been an unbelievable experience over these last 15 years since I gave my heart to the Lord.”
Ultimately, Kaymakcian believes he’s been delivered from his past struggles and has been given a solid foundation on which to build his life, with God stepping in to change everything.
“I don’t wake up every morning and have to fight not going to use drugs,” he said. “It’s a complete shift and change in mindset. It’s a new life. You’re a new creation.”
Kaymakcian hopes his book, “He Calls Me Redeemed: A Memoir of Childhood Sex Abuse, Heroin Addiction, Hope, and Redemption,” leaves people deeply inspired.
“My hope is … that people would stop and ask themselves the hard questions after reading this book,” he said. “I really just hope people stop and think and ask themselves the question, ‘Who is Jesus?'”
Find out more about “He Calls Me Redeemed.”
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