If anyone knows the grip of shame, it’s a former porn star.
Joshua Broome spent years in the pornography industry before finding faith in God, abandoning a life driven by sexual sin and drug abuse, and becoming a husband and father to four boys.
Since his salvation 11 years ago, Broome has become an outspoken evangelist and advocate against the dangers of pornography. One of the barriers to healing, he explained to CBN News, is shame.
“Shame is not God’s intention for your life,” he said. “The solution to shame is connection, is confession.”
Before he learned the Gospel, Broome said it was shame — rather than enjoyment— that kept him trapped in the pornography industry for years. He explained that, while guilt reveals, “I’ve done something wrong,” shame wrongly convinces a person, “I am someone wrong.”
“If I believe that my only value is indicative of me selling myself for sex, well, then, of course I’m going to continue doing what I’ve done, because it’s just an overflow of who I am,” he said.
From the Old to the New Testament, the Bible is clear about the need for confession for spiritual healing.
In Proverbs 28:13, King Solomon wrote, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy” (NLT).
Then, in 1 John 1:8-9, it’s written, “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleans us from all wickedness” (NLT).
And in James 5:16, James wrote, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (NLT).
The key to breaking the cycle of shame, Broome emphasized, is honest and complete confession.
“The depth of your confession is going to equate to the level of your healing,” he said. “So say all of it.”
He continued, “The way that you own your past is you have to own it, and the way that you own it is you say it out loud because we can only be as free as we’re willing to be honest.”
For many, Broome said, the root of pornography use is not lust or even sex; more often than not, it’s tied to something much deeper: insecurity, loneliness, an unhealthy understanding of intimacy.
The truth is conversations about past sins or sin struggles are not easy. Broome and his wife, Hope, have had their fair share of difficult conversations over his sexual history. But the truth is, while accountability and responsibility are essential to spiritual growth, confession should be met with compassion.
“[My wife] looked at me and said, ‘Hey, I don’t want to minimize your pain … but I do want to tell you that you’re not defined by the worst thing you’ve ever done, and you won’t be defined by the greatest thing you ever do, because you’re not the author of you — God is,'” Broome recalled. “At the cross, the worst of us meets the best of God, and He wins. That’s how you defeat shame.”
Broome and his wife are the hosts of a new six-part series from XO Marriage, “Made Whole: Healing, Wholeness, and Holiness in a Sex-Saturated World.” You can access the course for free here.
Watch our wide-ranging conversation with Broome in the video above.
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