The wife of pastor Andrew Stoecklein, who committed suicide last month after a battle with mental illness, has opened up about how her family is coping with her husband’s untimely death. Kayla Stoecklein is mother to three young boys, all of whom are utterly devastated and achingly confused by the tragic loss of their dad.
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“These last 3 weeks have completely changed the very framework of their lives,” Kayla explained in a post on Instagram. “They are devastated and miss their dad to their core, but they don’t let it ruin their day. They are resilient and they inspire me to be too.”
Stoecklein said that despite the heavy weight of sadness, she was determined to do some fun, normal activities with her adventurous kids. So, they took off to the beach and “kayaked, rode paddle boards, dug holes.”
Andrew’s brother, Austin, posted a beautiful picture of himself and his little nephew as the pair kayaked on a beautiful late summer day.
“We made new memories together and we had a good day,” Kayla wrote. “We are refusing to allow this grief to distract from all the beauty and joy God has for us.”
Andrew Stoecklein, 30, was the senior pastor at Inland Hills Church in Chino, California. He had been open about his struggles in recent months, taking a sabbatical over the summer to deal with his ailing mental and physical health. Then, just a week after he returned to ministry, Stoecklein took his own life on August 25.
Kayla has been documenting her journey in the aftermath of this horrific life event on the couple’s blog, “God’s Got This” — a phrase first used by Andrew’s father, Pastor David Stoecklein, as he battled leukemia.
David was the founding pastor of Inland Hills before he got sick with cancer, and God subsequently led the Stoeckleins to share their thoughts on his illness and ministry through the website:
“We chose to respond to this season of uncertainty with one simple phrase, “GOD’S GOT THIS.” We launched this site and eventually made wristbands to simply provided a way for others to remain informed and connected to our journey,” the family explained.
“People began sending the wristbands and forwarding these posts all over the world to family and friends, some of whom were experiencing similar situations. The response has been amazing and we hope that our story and your new wristband would be an encouragement that God is in control.”
“When the boys are feeling sad and need to talk, I listen,” Kayla continued in the heartbreaking Instagram post. “After we shed our tears and have our sad moment together I gently remind them that their daddy still loves them, that God has big plans for them, and that we are going to have a happy beautiful life.”
Stoecklein said that, as she is comforting her young children in the absence of their father, she is also reminding her self that “God has big plans,” for her brave family.
“He’s not done with us yet, he’s dreaming up big dreams for my boys, and we are determined to have a happy life together on this side of heaven.”
A GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Kayla and her family in the wake of Andrew’s death has collected over $375,000, with over 3,000 donating money to provide “financial security during a very difficult season.”
“Andrew bravely confronted the topic of mental health in his last days, shedding light on illnesses that aren’t widely discussed in public or in the worldwide church,” the campaign description reads. “Kayla is committed to continuing his story by honoring the man he was, while calling for greater support for pastors in the burdens they carry. It is by their example that we can praise God and provide for their family in the midst of grief.”